Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
"We live in the shelter of each other.” – Celtic saying
EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the 1980's and has developed alongside the science on adult attachment and bonding to expand our understanding about what is happening in couple relationships and to guide therapists. In the last fifteen years, Dr. Sue Johnson and her colleagues have further developed and refined the model and completed numerous studies. EFT is also used with families and individuals. A substantial body of research outlining the effectiveness of EFT now exists. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. EFT is being used with many different kinds of couples in private practice, university training centers and hospital clinics and many different cultural groups throughout the world. These distressed couples include partners suffering from disorders such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorders and chronic illness.
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EFT is based on clear, explicit conceptualizations of marital distress and adult love. EFT is collaborative and respectful of clients, combining experiential techniques with structural systemic interventions. EFT has been validated by over 20 years of empirical research.
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Goals of Emotionally Focused Therapy
An Example of the Change Process
In a therapy session, a husband’s numb withdrawal expands into a sense of helplessness or a feeling of being intimidated. He begins to assert his need for respect and, in doing so, becomes more accessible to his wife. He moves from, "There is no point in talking to you. I don't want to fight," to "I do want to be close. I want you to give me a chance. Stop poking me and let me learn to be there for you." His wife’s critical anger then expands into fear and sadness. She can now ask for and elicit comfort. She moves from "You just don't care. You don't get it," to "It is so difficult to say – but I need you to hold me – reassure me – can you?"
New cycles of bonding interactions occur and replace negative cycles such as pursue-withdraw or criticize-defend. These positive cycles then become self-reinforcing and create permanent change. The relationship becomes a safe haven and a healing environment for both partners.
- To expand and re-organize key emotional responses – the music of the attachment dance.
- To create a shift in partners' interactional positions and initiate new cycles of interaction.
- To foster the creation of a secure bond between partners.
An Example of the Change Process
In a therapy session, a husband’s numb withdrawal expands into a sense of helplessness or a feeling of being intimidated. He begins to assert his need for respect and, in doing so, becomes more accessible to his wife. He moves from, "There is no point in talking to you. I don't want to fight," to "I do want to be close. I want you to give me a chance. Stop poking me and let me learn to be there for you." His wife’s critical anger then expands into fear and sadness. She can now ask for and elicit comfort. She moves from "You just don't care. You don't get it," to "It is so difficult to say – but I need you to hold me – reassure me – can you?"
New cycles of bonding interactions occur and replace negative cycles such as pursue-withdraw or criticize-defend. These positive cycles then become self-reinforcing and create permanent change. The relationship becomes a safe haven and a healing environment for both partners.
Watch Sue Johnson, Ph.D., the founder of EFT.
How to Make an Appointment
Complete an intake online or call 609-844-0452, extension 713 to schedule an intake. Most insurances are accepted.
Complete an intake online or call 609-844-0452, extension 713 to schedule an intake. Most insurances are accepted.